


A Secret Told To The Mouth Instead Of To The Ear

by flawedamythyst



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-06
Updated: 2011-02-06
Packaged: 2017-10-15 11:00:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/160172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawedamythyst/pseuds/flawedamythyst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock doesn't let himself kiss John when he's on a case.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Secret Told To The Mouth Instead Of To The Ear

Sherlock doesn't let himself kiss John when he's on a case.

He knows that John thinks it's because he devotes his whole mind to unravelling the puzzle and leaves no space in which to even remember that kissing exists, in the same way that eating and sleeping go out the window. He also knows that sometimes, in his darker moments, John wonders if it's because this whole thing between them is only one of the distractions that Sherlock uses to keep himself from falling into a black mood when there's nothing for his brain to do, on the same level as five hours playing the violin, or improbable experiments involving desiccated rodents.

It's not, of course. It could never be, and it hurts Sherlock more than he likes to admit, even to himself, that John could ever imagine himself to be less than the most important thing in Sherlock's life. Everything else is just a distraction to stop himself from anchoring himself into John's very flesh and doing nothing but kiss him until they both expire from exhaustion, or dehydration, or maybe even live like that forever, stuck in an immortal embrace, needing nothing but the touch of the other's lips to keep surviving because that's the only thing that's real, properly _real_ and not just part of all the ridiculous, tedious rubbish that the rest of the world is made of.

The reason that Sherlock doesn't let himself kiss John during a case is for almost the opposite reason. If he allowed himself that, then why would he bother with crime scenes, or questioning witnesses, or trying to pull some spark of intelligence out of the vacant brains of the police? There's no way to say 'kissing you is worse than eating, worse than sleeping, it kills my ability to think while making me not care at all, I'd happily be an imbecile if you'd just keep kissing me, happily let crime scenes go unexamined, cases unsolved, murderers could slaughter whoever they wanted, whenever they wanted, just as long as I got to keep kissing you' without John making that tiny, disappointed wince that signalled that Sherlock had made one of his 'not good' statements.

Instead, he sticks to a strict policy. The moment he agrees to take a case, he's not allowed to touch John's lips until he's solved it, without any exception. It's the toughest test of his willpower that he's ever faced and it drives his frustration to dizzying heights when he can't find a trail, running around in a frenzy, half-afraid that this will be the time he's stumped completely and then he'll never get to feel John's body pressed close to his, his mouth opening beneath Sherlock's like the perfect moment when a soaring note from his violin manages to describe the precise emotion running through him in that moment.

On the other hand, it makes the moment when he pronounces the solution and turns to see John's awed, proud smile even better, because all he has to do it reach out a hand to pull him in, and he gets all the reward he's ever going to need, encapsulated in John's warm mouth and graceful tongue.


End file.
